an imperfect witness to life

Eighteen years ago this week I found out I was pregnant. 

I was shocked, frightened and overcome with shame. Weeping alone in my car, I called Matt from the clinic parking lot. By God's grace, Matt courageously responded with love and commitment. 

Matt's response to our unplanned pregnancy was the first in a cascade of mercy and support that swelled and multiplied as I experienced the tender mercy of God is a real and tangible way. 

It was as if my dearest loved ones ripped open the roof and placed me face to face with Jesus.

Family, friends, priests and neighbors came alongside us, rallying around us as we walked forward toward marriage and parenthood. We were students in college. We had no place to live after graduation that May and no jobs lined up. 

Miraculously, the heart of God who loves life, moved His people to provide for every single one of our needs, material and spiritual. We lacked nothing.

This prayer I've heard countless times at Mass pierced my heart this morning:  

Look not on our sins, but on the faith of your Church.

Thanks Be to God for the Body of Christ, both Jesus himself, and His faithful people who extended forgiveness in place of judgement to Matt and I eighteen years ago. My childhood church was full of loved ones who came to celebrate with us on our wedding day in April 2006. God's mercies did not end there. 

Our daughter Josephine Theresa was born in August and baptized in that same church where we were married. The faith of God's people, His Church, carried us and reminded us with countless gifts (furniture, dishes, baby clothes, blankets) and gestures of love (prayers, homecooked meals, offers to babysit) that we are never alone. The creation of this very blog testifies to the welcome and love lavished upon us.

This morning Mallory's sixth grade class hosted Mass for Life in the gymnasium. Matt and I stood together in awe of God's goodness, His unwavering faithfulness and real power to redeem our relationship. 

This is my body, given up for you. 

For nearly four decades, I have heard this prayer uttered by the priest during consecration. Today it comes alive and is undeniable. Jesus tells us this truth at every Mass: My body, given for you. 

A groom echoes this same truth to his bride.

And so too, a mother to her child. 

There is no greater love than this. 

How can this be?

Our life belongs to God. He is the author of each and every life.

Mallory's classmate and good friend read aloud this reflection to the student body before Mass:

After communion, Matt and I both knelt and wept. Jesus has wiped away all our shame and fear of our imperfect past and filled us with gratitude and eyes to see God's perfect gift for us. 

As we wept, our daughter Josephine was singing this song, glorifying God with her body and leading her school community in praise of Him. 

 

Tonight Josephine and I depart for New Orleans. She invited me to join her senior class pilgrimage to March for Life in Washington DC. Of course, we do not go on our own. 

We pilgrims are 54 from her school: students, parents, grandparents, teachers, administrators, priests. And we carry with us a prayer journal inscribed with special intentions from our friends and family. 

This will be my first visit to our nation's Capitol. Only God could have arranged this so perfectly:

More than two decades ago, I was a senior in high school and poised to go to Washington DC led by my passionate US History teacher. Sadly, the trip was cancelled after 9/11 happened and our nation was paralyzed with fear. 

Now, I rise and walk with Josephine. To be an imperfect witness to life.

Thank you, Jesus for redeeming me.

Which is easier, to say to the paralytic,
‘Your sins are forgiven,’
or to say, ‘Rise, pick up your mat and walk’?
But that you may know
that the Son of Man has authority to forgive sins on earth”
–he said to the paralytic,
“I say to you, rise, pick up your mat, and go home.”
He rose, picked up his mat at once, 
and went away in the sight of everyone.
They were all astounded
and glorified God, saying, 
“We have never seen anything like this.”
-Mark 2:9-12